i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
