I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
