I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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