i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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