in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
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Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
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The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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