Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
