I wish my penis had an off switch
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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