i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i think i have herpe
just one?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Shame - the story of my life.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
