Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Randomize
