I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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