apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
