At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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