he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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