I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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