You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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