My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
is that a dick in a sweater?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
