My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
