Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
