I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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