You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
