I want to make a zoo with you.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
