It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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