you didnt know i had herpes?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize