Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just tell him i said nine months
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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