You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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