I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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