It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
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