check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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