In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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