I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
