Pappa wants mamma naked
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
