ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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