it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
