I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
