i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
