Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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