Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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