Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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