i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
