I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
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I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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