all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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