I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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