if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you had me at cake vodka
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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