About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
