i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
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nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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