I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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