There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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