is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
