Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize