I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
