i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
