i would punch a child for taco bell
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
