dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
