Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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