i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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