it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
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It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
