Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
