I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Please don't give away my fajitas
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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