Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
