i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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