u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
