yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
